The Question That Steals Your Identity
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Most people think they know how to answer that question.
But the question is a trap.
It sounds innocent.
But it pushes you to anchor your identity in what you do.
Not who you are.
When your identity is built on what you do, you are building on something that changes.
Jobs change.
Seasons change.
Dreams change.
Circumstances change.
But who you are never changes.
And especially who God says you are.
That is solid.
That is unshakable.
That does not move.
So instead of asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A better question is,
“Who do you want to be when you grow up?”
I ask this with my own sons.
They all love sports.
They dream about the NFL and the NBA.
And I love that about them.
Their drive.
Their passion.
Their focus.
One of my boys in particular is incredibly gifted.
He eats, sleeps, and breathes sports.
He watches game film.
He studies the pros.
He works hard.
He has the talent and the work ethic to go far.
As a father, I want to support his dreams.
But I am also a leader in his life.
So I ask him,
“Who do you want to be?”
And it creates a new kind of conversation.
We talk about his character.
We talk about the traits that make him who he is.
We talk about what those traits look like in every area of life.
He loves learning.
He loves the challenge.
He loves competition.
He loves teamwork.
Those things go way beyond sports.
Those things will stay with him his entire life.
Because here is the truth.
Even if someone reaches the highest level in their field, that season will eventually end.
And we see it all the time.
Athletes retire and suddenly they do not know who they are.
Why?
Because they anchored their identity to what they did.
And when the what went away, they were lost.
That is why “Who do you want to be?” is the better question.
It shapes your whole life.
It sets your direction.
And it grounds you in something that will not change when life does.
This Week’s Challenge
Do the eulogy exercise.
Picture your funeral.
Picture the people who will be there.
Your spouse.
Your kids.
Your best friend.
Your coworkers.
What do you want them to say about you?
What kind of person do you want them to describe?
What themes stand out?
Write it out.
Bullet points are fine.
Full sentences are fine.
Whatever helps you think clearly.
Then look for the patterns.
Because those patterns show you who you want to be when you grow up.
And just like any other goal in your life, you can be intentional about becoming that person.
Start now.
Take it seriously.
You will be glad you did.
Now let’s go win the week!
Watch this week’s Pep Talk video to hear the full message and join the huddle.
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